Be Like Mike

“Therefore I urge you to imitate me.” 1 Co 4:16
“We did this… in order to offer ourselves as a model for you to imitate.” 2 Thes 3:9
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Richard, one of our long-time pastors, once asked a penetrating question: “Are you living a life worth imitating?” To be honest, it felt a little presumptuous and self-absorbed to consider my life worthy of emulation. A more realistic evaluation might conclude that my life would better serve as a model of what NOT to do.

Well Paul’s words from his letters to the churches at Corinth and Thessalonica make clear that he had no issue at all directing Christians to imitate his life. As my wife, Leslie, and I reflected on our response to Richard’s question, our conversation almost immediately turned to a dear couple who have had an immeasurable impact on the way we live.

God introduced us to Ruth and Charlie Hamrin in 1985. They were in their 50’s and had been married for nearly 25 years. We were in our early 20’s and engaged to be married. Despite the gap in age, we quickly developed a deep friendship. Its been nearly 30 years and the impact this dear couple has had on our lives continues to unfold. Charlie passed away in 2014 but we are grateful that Ruth is still with us.

If I could distill into one word the gift that Ruth and Charlie offered us it would be  “hospitality.”   They welcomed us into their lives by welcoming us into, and sharing with us, their home, their family, their pastimes, their vacations, their ministry, their neighborhood, their home improvement projects, their friendships, their work, and their ministry – they welcomed us into virtually every aspect of their lives.

If you were to ask me describe one of the most powerful experiences of love, and encouragement in my life, I would have no trouble answering. I would respond without hesitation and without reservation: the strong, warm embraces – the ”big hugs” – that I received every time I entered the Hamrins’ home. And imitating those hugs – imitating the profound hospitality we experienced at the Hamrins’ – has become one of the chief goals that drive our family’s life and ministry. Frequently, as Leslie and I discuss reaching out to someone in a difficult situation, we say to one another, “We just need to be Ruth and Charlie to him.”

Are you living a life worth imitating? If you’re not, you are missing an opportunity to positively impact someone else’s future. I’m sure glad that Leslie and I had Ruth and Charlie to emulate. Their example changed the trajectory of our lives. Is there someone that you have committed to imitate? Has someone profoundly changed your life by their example? Feel free to share by leaving a comment. Thanks for reading.

Lessons from the Lambs

Our son, Ben, was six years old. He and I had pulled out of the driveway on a Saturday morning – likely heading to Home Depot. Just before we left the house, my wife, Leslie, and I had had a discussion about what I am sure was some lamebrained, half-baked idea I had about buying Ben his first shotgun (at six, you’re old enough for a shotgun, right?), taking him sky diving or something equally ridiculous. Whatever the issue, Leslie had (once again) prevailed. Much to Ben’s disappointment, I had reluctantly withdrawn my wild proposal, submitting to Leslie’s trademark reason and rationality.

As we drove out of the neighborhood, Ben sat quietly in the backseat for a few minutes sternly staring out the window. When he finally spoke, it was clear he was frustrated, still not happy with the outcome back at home. He posed the question honestly and earnestly, wanting desperately for the answer to be in the affirmative, “Dad, doesn’t the Bible say the MAN is the head of the household?”

That stung a bit. With one question my young son had suggested not only that I was a hen-pecked weakling and a sorry excuse for a dad;  he also was calling into question my understanding of scripture and my willingness or ability to lead our family in a manner consisted with biblical principles. Ouch.

There was no way I could allow Ben’s suggestions to be true. I tried the  WWBGD (What would Billy Graham do?) method for answering these head-scratcher questions. I drew a blank. So I was forced into heresy.

“Son,” I said, trying to sound authoritative, “You are right to look to the Bible for direction on how to live. And it is accurate that most things in the Bible are true. But I’ve found two things in the Bible that I’m pretty sure might not be completely true. And one of those two things is that the man is not really the head of the household.”

Although feeling somewhat blasphemous and possibly in danger of eternal damnation, I resolutely continued with my argument: “God knew that men would need to feel like we were in charge so God essentially gave us the title. But in reality, most of the time we men end up going along with our wives. And, don’t tell any of my friends I said this, but its probably for the best.” (By the way, the other Biblical truth I have my doubts about is that man cannot live by bread alone. I’m pretty sure I could live on yeast rolls, biscuits and cornbread.)

Having seen it in many men over the years, Ben’s reaction at learning his real place in the matrimonial hierarchy was familiar: initial shock and indignation followed by disappointment and finally acceptance and resignation. But I consoled myself. Ben had grasped an important truth much earlier than most boys and the truth was that as men, we have a lot to learn from the women in our lives.  And it is rarely in our best interest to not listen closely and heed the advice we receive from them. Solomon was on to something when he wrote of godly women: “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household.” (Prov 31:26-7)

Our son, Ben, grew from a 5 year old boy into a young husband and father. Growing up, he and his sister, Bailey, had no shortage of strong, influential women in their lives. These women provided ample evidence of the truth he first heard in the car that morning. No women have left a more lasting impression on our children than those I have often jokingly referred to as the “Pink Cult.” These are the women that organize what has become a legendary, twice-a-year event in Lexington: The Lil’ Lambs Closet Sale. And this week just happens to be the event’s 25th anniversary and its the 50th sale these incredible women have put together.

Twenty-five years! It all started in 1993. Remember that year? It was the year that the young Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan starred in Sleepless in Seattle. NBC aired the 275th and final episode of Cheers.  George Bush and Dan Quayle turned the White House over to Bill Clinton and Al Gore. And – I hate to bring it up but who can forget – Rick Pitino’s (ouch!) Wildcats led by Jamal Mashburn and Travis Ford (ouch!) lost in OT to Michigan 81-78 in the first round of the Final Four.

That same year, no one would have envisioned the ultimate significance of the inaugural Lil Lambs Sale. Organized by 10 or so young moms (including my lovely bride) at Centenary United Methodist Church, the event generated just over $3,000 in sales. Seventy percent or $2,100 of that total went back to the sellers while 30% or $1,000 went back to Lil Lambs who donated the entirety to women’s and children’s ministries.

Fast forward to 2018. Today, Lil’ Lambs is a huge consignment sale managed by a group of 30 women (still including my lovely bride) at Centenary. Each Spring and Fall, they sponsor sales of new or gently used nursery and children’s items. Proceeds from the each sale are still distributed based on the original formula: 70% to the seller and 30% to charities focused on women and children. To date, Lil’ Lambs has donated $1.45 million to ministries here in Lexington and around the world.

Watch this short video to get a great overview of the sale:

 

I think perhaps just as important as the money raised by these dedicated women is the valuable example their efforts have provided to our children, church and community. Just a short list of traits modeled for us would include: active servanthood, old-fashioned frugality, stewardship of resources, prayerful persistence, local and global generosity, Christ-honoring unity and just plan old hard work. What a testimony to the dedication and character of these ladies. Their sustained efforts undoubtedly have more impact on the world than much of the “activities” in which we Christians participate.

Now the Lil Lambs sale is something you have to experience to appreciate. Observing the set up and take down process is like watching a military exercise carried out with purpose and precision. Our church’s fellowship halls and two full size gymnasiums are transformed into a massive, wall-to-wall market place complete with racks and racks of clothing; tables filled with toys, puzzles and books; and floor displays of strollers, baby beds, and bicycles. When the doors open to the public, women pour through the doors and one is reminded of the annual craziness of Black Friday.

If you’ve been to the sale before, chances are you’ll be there this week. If you haven’t  been before, come out to the sale and help celebrate the 25th anniversary. The public shopping times are Friday, August 24 from 8AM to 6PM and Saturday, August 25 from 8AM to noon. And if you would like to shop early, you can still volunteer to help at the sale. In return, you’ll get to shop Thursday evening from 6PM – 9PM before the sale opens on Friday morning to the public. Follow this link to volunteer.

Finally, each sale, Lil Lambs chooses one ministry to highlight. Opportunities are provided for shoppers and others to support this program with special donations. This year that ministry is close to our family’s heart. Founded and operated by Raul and Kimi Molina, Esperanza is located in Talamanca, Costa Rica. (Kimi grew up at Centenary and her family still are faithful members.) There Kimi and Raul disciple and equip the community through ALPHA and compassion ministries for children and the elderly. They host vulnerable children in their home, and reach out to the community through sports and family ministries.

Our daughter Bailey lived with Kimi and Raul thru two different summers and both Leslie and I have traveled there. The experience has  transformed our family’s lives and we consider Kimi to be one of the major godly influences in Bailey’s life. If you would like to contribute to the work of Esperanza, you can donate here. The goal for Lil Lambs this sale is to raise an additional $2500 so that the Molina’s can complete the construction of a new community center there in Talamanca.

So today, I tip my hat to the ladies of Lil’ Lambs who serve as a shining example of godliness and self-less service to our community and world. Ladies, lead on! And men, watch and learn.

 

 

Pepe, Poop and Provision

This week’s blog contains one of many meaningful experiences I’ve been fortunate to have with homeless men in our Lexington community. I expect that future blog posts will reference many similar encounters. It’s my hope that you, like me, will be enriched and enlightened by these personal anecdotes.

Pepe was among the first homeless men I met nearly 10 years ago when our family began to intentionally seek to get to know some of the men living on the streets in Lexington. (If you are interested in that story, you can read it here.) I never learned Pepe’s last name – or even if Pepe was his real first name. He was a Vietnam vet and was in his early 60’s. Pepe slept outside in Woodland Park located in the Chevy Chase area of Lexington. Most mornings, he came in to the South Limestone McDonald’s for a cup of coffee. On a few occasions, I had attempted to start up a conversation with Pepe over his morning coffee. But he wasn’t much of a talker and I surmised that he suffered from some sort of mental illness – which I assumed was related to his service in the Vietnam war.

One summer morning as I stood at the McDonald’s counter waiting for my coffee, I noticed Pepe walking across the parking lot. Immediately, I sensed something wasn’t right. As he got closer I noticed something all over his pants. I first thought he had urinated on himself. But as he walked into the store, the truth became evident. Pepe had experienced a major episode – perhaps several episodes – of diarrhea. The inside of both pant legs were covered in feces. Along with two or three other customers at the McDonald’s counter, I stood speechless, not knowing how to react or what to say. Pepe, attempting to maintain some sense of dignity, calmly ordered a cup of coffee.

Feeling incredibly sad and wanting to protect Pepe from any further embarrassment, I walked closer to him and said, “Pepe, what’s happened to you?” Sheepishly, he turned to me and said, “I woke up this morning with bad cramps. I tried to make it to the bathroom but it was too late.” “Do you have any clean clothes?” I asked. “No.” came the response. “These are all I have.”

At this point, the distance between “what I knew I needed to do” and “what I really wanted to do” was about as far as the east is from the west. You see, I don’t do well with the smell of poop. Somehow, I got through our children’s diaper phases – but most any other time I encounter that smell, I gag involuntarily.

I threw up (pardon the pun) one of those “God, help me out here” prayers, took a deep breath (through my mouth) and said to Pepe: “Come on with me buddy. We are going to get you cleaned up.” A look of disbelief and relief came across Pepe’s face as he began following me toward the door. Rick, one of the homeless men I had been chatting with offered to come along. He followed us out but when Pepe and I  reached my car, Rick had vanished. I looked back only to see Rick hunched over, throwing up on the sidewalk. He motioned me to go on without him. It turns out that Rick, like me, has a poop aversion.

As I slid into the drivers seat, I rolled down the front windows and silently continued my prayer: “God. You gotta do something here. If I gag, its only going to further humiliate Pepe. I really don’t want that. Help me, please.” What didn’t happen for the next hour and a half was nothing short of miraculous. I drove Pepe to my house, where I grabbed some towels and clothes. We then headed to the men’s locker room at Centenary, the church my family attends. Once inside, I helped Pepe undress and get in the shower. While he showered, I went out to my car and cleaned up the passenger seat where Pepe had sat. At no time during this entire episode did I smell the odor of poop. Miraculous provision – that’s what God had provided.

After Pepe was showered and dressed, I drove him back to McDonalds, bought him breakfast and headed off to work. That’s the last time I ever saw Pepe. About 4 weeks later, a homeless friend informed me that Pepe had died suddenly of a heart attack while in the shower at Calvary Baptist Church. I was grateful that God had given me an opportunity – and that I had accepted that opportunity – to show Pepe some kindness and care before his death.

I was also grateful for the important principle that God had shown me: He makes provision for us when we act to demonstrate His love toward others. Many times, I had prayed to see a miracle. Never did I imagine that the miracle I’d be shown would be such a “crappy” one.

(Photo by Ed Yourdon via Flickr.)